feeling numb...

sometimes i wish i was always numb..no pain, no hurt, no feeling..but does that mean no happieness? I wish i could tell someone how i feel but what will happen after i do. i don't want to hurt anyone.. but i don't even know if it will hurt.. what does it mean when a guy kisses a girl? does that mean they love eachother? The feeling that you whole insides are going to burst. should you scream? i hate feeling like this but yet i am to scared to fix it. is that normal? The three little words I love you.. what do they really mean? do you have to mean it to say it? but if you don't mean it then the special feeling is gone. When someone says it to you are you always suppose to say it back even if you don't feel that way? am i stupid.. if it was anyother girl would she be able to do this in a heart beat?